the dirtiest word ever

L-O-N-E-L-I-N-E-S-S....this word is like the word "fuck" as I imagine it might have been considered in the 40's or 50's- or in places where the words "gay" or '"lesbian" are not as de rigueur as they are on mainstream TV today. People are scared of this word and all that it conotates, because like other words that have actual sexual meanings or implications, it forces a reaction that provokes one to look inside him/herself to think of values. You have to think to yourself:" Am I okay with the actual meaning of "Gay"/"Lesbian" because I feel great about my own sexual orientation, so if someone says those words they have little affect on me outside of their context in the conversation? And "fuck"- do I see that word is merely an exclamation for some whose cultural base supports profanity as a means to express big emotion? But "lonely" seems so loaded: can you even think of one character on any TV show who is OUT about being lonely? And when you think of The Lonely Character on TV or in movies- she/he is usually portrayed in this completely overdone, cheesy, characatureistic way- old, or unattractive, with way too many cats or overly obvious personality defects to bring humor to an otherwise dramatic and real predicament. Kind of like black faces in the 20's and 30's and how people who are gay were portrayed before Ellen DeGeneres hit the scene. I do think if I watched HBO more regularly I might see less offensive cliche's of this less than pretty human condition-like on Six Feet Under maybe Brenda was pretty lonely. In any case I guess my perception of how loneliness is perceived by others is actually part of my own loneliness- so if I think that I have given myself away or am outed somehow- that contributes to the general humiliation I feel in being lonely. And I am just as guilty of contributing to the derogatory objectification of the lonely by self effacing with humor when I am outed or have revealed too much about having a rather rickety support network. Now I get why that crying clown image became such a staple in visual iconography- we all know what it really means.